For those familiar with attachment parenting, you will more than likely already be acquainted with holding space. For those that are not, to put it simply, it is the act of being present and providing containment for whatever big feelings your children are feeling as they process them. By being with them, you can create a safe space where they are free to express and explore their feelings – sometimes you are that space.
The expression of emotions can, in itself be cathartic, and the exploration of feelings, often with a parent to be their guide, is what allows a child’s emotional maturity to develop. Both of these aspects are important for children, but they will not fully delve into this experience unless they feel safe to do so. Children feel safe to process their feelings when their feelings are not dismissed or trivialised, when they feel heard and understood, when they are allowed to express their feelings as comes naturally to them, and when they know that after all that, they will still be loved.
When I consider what it means to hold space as a parent, I cannot help but think of our Heavenly Father.
How many times is it written in the Bible, “the Lord was with him”? From Abraham, to Joseph, to David, to Enoch and Hezekiah, we hear that the Lord was with them or that the Lord walked with them. So many of the Psalms were written by David, and just look at all the sentiments he expressed!
This Davidic example is a beautiful blueprint of how a child of God can process their feelings about all of life, no matter what they feel.
Consider too, the book of Job. The Lord is there through Job’s suffering – God never abandons him. This eternal God, the God of love who never changes, is with us, too.
And of course, Jesus himself said it plainly, “…remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). We go through life not alone, but with Him who is the giver of life.
In Him, we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28), and if we are trusting in the Lord as much as we should be, we can be assured that we are safe to express and explore everything we experience, that Jesus understands our human condition, and that we will always be loved, no matter what. Let us cling to the Lord, who is our consolation, and cry out to Him. Our loving Father holds space for us.
Have you felt secure to approach God with your big feelings? How do you become more comfortable to do this? Let’s have a chat in the comments!
Until next time, let’s pray for each other. And remember, we can do Mom things through Christ who strengthens us!
Mom Things Through Christ 