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Reflections on Parenting: Judgment from Parents and In-Laws

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Friends, I won’t lie to you… I spend a fair chunk of time on social media (you may have seen me there)! And I have read some of your stories. There have been enough similar stories that I feel moved to write about it. Those are the stories of disapproval, disdain, and even rejection from family members about how you choose to raise your children, or, for some of you, that you yourselves have decided to come to the Catholic Church from another faith or another denomination (which of course impacts the way you raise your children!). Whether it’s the way you parent, or the things you teach your children, there is cause for friction when they don’t understand why your priorities are the way that they are.

In yesterday’s Mass readings, we heard the beatitudes. This is God’s new law, given to us by Jesus. Unlike the justice of an eye for an eye that was handed down in the Old testament, the new law is a law of humility, of mercy, and love. Through recent events in my own life, I have come to embrace the last beatitude in all its beauty, and I would encourage those of you who are troubled by the unkind words and actions of others (particularly of those close to you) to bear Jesus’ words in mind.

At the very end of the beatitudes, the Lord says, “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:10)

When you live according to Christ, your priorities are different, perhaps unexpected, but righteous in God’s sight. This will anger some people, especially if they do not walk the same road that you walk. Christ takes primacy in your life and every part of your life is ordered as such. People who are of the world just don’t understand why God comes first and why He is the ultimate authority in your life, causing you to live life the way that you do. It’s incomprehensible to them. They will rail against it, finding ways to make your life difficult, calling you names, speaking ill of you to others. It’s one thing to stand up for yourself as we are so often told by the world, but to be humble enough to accept it… that’s the call from Christ.

I am joyful that people speak ill of me, because I am assured that ultimately it doesn’t matter what anyone on Earth says or thinks about me. I know that as a child of God, I wear a crown, I am worthy to share in the Kingship of our Lord because of His immense love for me, and nothing anyone thinks of, says about, or does to me can ever take it away. And that freedom from conforming to other people’s expectations or desires, that’s the Lord at work!

I also know that Jesus is near me in my suffering. As King David wrote, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted,  and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord rescues them from them all.” (Psalm 34:18-19).

I *love* that this is one of the ways the Lord has chosen to sanctify me, and I rejoice in it! I am humbled by it but take pride in bearing this cross for the glory of God!

When I say I bear the cross for the glory of God, I mean, we can give our suffering to God. Remember that nothing that we give to Him is ever wasted – He will take everything you give Him, whether good or bad, and turn it to something so much better: by uniting your suffering and sorrow with our Lord crucified, we are cooperating with God in the mission of the salvation of souls!  This is not a new concept. In fact, it has always been this way. As it is written in the scriptures, “Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good, in order to preserve a numerous people, as he is doing today.” (Genesis 50:20), and also, “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

Praise Him for setting us free from fulfilling human expectations – we may fulfil some of them, but we are called to fulfil greater than these!

Praise Him for setting us free from the judgment of man – it is the Lord alone who is the supreme judge, and it is only His ruling over our lives that merits consideration.

Praise Him for setting us free from the effect of their punitive behaviour towards us – we bear the cross of scorn and spite joyfully, because the Lord is close to those who suffer, and we can give our struggles to God, to increase His glory and save more souls.

Praise Him for His kindness and faithfulness. Our Heavenly Father will never abandon us. Know that despite every hardship and trial, you are immensely loved, and highly valued, and you belong to the Lord!

If you are having trouble receiving this means of sanctification, perhaps the Litany of Humility is for you. It is a prayer that I was praying as this was all happening in my life, so I can’t help but feel blessed that God answers our prayers! It’s part of why I am grateful for this experience, even though it is hard. Here is the Litany of Humility (responses in bold):

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved…
From the desire of being extolled…
From the desire of being honoured…
From the desire of being praised…
From the desire of being preferred to others…
From the desire of being consulted…
From the desire of being approved…
From the fear of being humiliated…
From the fear of being despised…
From the fear of suffering rebukes…
From the fear of being calumniated…
From the fear of being forgotten…
From the fear of being ridiculed…
From the fear of being wronged…
From the fear of being suspected…

That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I…
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease…
That others may be chosen and I set aside…
That others may be praised and I unnoticed…
That others may be preferred to me in everything…
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

Maybe you’ve accepted this cross. Wonderful! But what about the human aspect? Should we simply forget these people? One thing we know is that we are commanded to forgive. Every time we pray the Our Father, we are asking God to forgive us as we forgive those who have sinned against us. If we are not willing to forgive, then how can we ask God to forgive us?

But what does forgiveness look like when it comes to unhealthy relationships? While we can use the pain that some people cause us to bring about good, we sometimes need to distance ourselves from people who do not engage in relationships in a healthy way, in order to love ourselves well. We were not created to suffer needlessly – God can use suffering for good, but we shouldn’t be seeking it out like gluttons for punishment.

Setting boundaries or distancing ourselves from certain people doesn’t mean that we simply leave them by the wayside. We have a duty to continue to love these people with the love of God, although this is something we can definitely do at a distance. We do this by praying for them. Let us fervently hope that we will be reconciled to each other and to God on the last day. Until then, we bear the burden and we wish them well.

How have you dealt with past hurts? What would you do differently if it happened today? What are some ways you can increase in humility? What helps you to pray for those who have wronged you? Let me know your thoughts!

Until next time, let’s pray for each other. And remember, we can do Mom things through Christ who strengthens us!

Joys of the Week: June 3-11

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Well, it’s that time of the week again… time to share our joys of the week!

I’m getting a bit of clarity on something I’ve been discerning for several weeks, now. I’ve still got some discerning to do, but getting some direction on where to go next is a good feeling!

We have an exclusive conact napper since birth, but just this week, I have managed to transfer my baby to the bed – twice! I’ve only had 10-15 minutes to myself but preparing food in peace has been so appreciated!

Last night, I got to have some food I’ve been wanting to eat for a loooong time. It’s a dish I haven’t had in years… and it did not disappoint!

What about you? What brought you joy last week? Let me know in the comments! Until next time, let’s pray for each other. And remember, we can do Mom things through Christ who strengthens us!

Reflections on Parenting: Father’s Day

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With Father’s Day approaching, I wanted to take some time to reflect on fatherhood. Although I am not a father myself, I have a father, and I am watching my husband grow as a father, and of course, we all have the loving example of our Heavenly Father.

What makes a father? I know I am one of the lucky ones who grew up with a loving father who was present and who cared for his family. Sadly, the reality is that not everyone has been blessed with that story. Yet even people who had biological fathers who let them down still had people in their lives who filled the role to some extent. So, I would say that a father figure, whether biological father or not, is the best example of what a father on Earth looks like. 

Father figures are steadfast men who show little boys what they should aspire to be and little girls how they should be treated. Father figures show us some facet or facets of Divine Fatherhood: perhaps it is that caring provision, perhaps it is patience, perhaps protection, it could be might and power, maybe they make things with their hands, or some other quality that reflects God.

Watching my husband learn how to parent has been an immense joy – one that I never really thought about before the birth of our child, so it took me by surprise and continues to delight me. One of the things I appreciate the most about him is that he is a generous provider. He gives a lot to and for our family in a big way and I am so grateful to the Lord for giving him a provider’s heart – it’s something he showed me even before we were married and reminds me a lot of my own father. It’s not even the finances that I appreciate and admire (although he is the breadwinner and we wouldn’t have an income without him), but rather, his attitude to providing. He gladly provides for our family, and for me, so that I can focus on other things, primarily caring for our child, but also for looking after the household admin and that kind of thing. This provider role is what I’d like to look at today.

The actions of a father who provides in this way call to mind the passage in the Gospel of Matthew:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:25-33)

God provides for us so that we can focus on glorifying Him and bringing forth His kingdom. Our hearts and minds should not be occupied by thoughts of necessity. Trust in the Lord and give your worries over to him. I know it is hard and sometimes scary to give up control, especially when it comes to our needs, but giving it up to God is the only way to let Him do His work in your life.

A while ago, I heard the story that actor Jonathan Roumie shared about his acting career prior to taking a role on The Chosen. He had spent eight years in Hollywood, working hard and giving everything his all, trying to get his acting career successfully going. But as much as he tried, nothing was happening. He was down to his last $20, no food in the fridge, no way to pay the rent the following week – it was dire. This was the point where he literally fell to his knees and gave it up to God – and it turned around. The following day, the actor claims that he spent the $20 probably on a good breakfast, and left it all up to God. He got home that day to four envelopes in the mail – each one contained a cheque for him. As he opened them, the amount on each cheque was bigger than the last. He added them up and found he had $1100. And as many of you might know, his success, both with The Chosen and in other projects, continues today.

Giving your life to God doesn’t necessarily mean that He’ll suddenly transport you to a new place in life and everything will magically fall into place. Sometimes it looks that way, but sometimes it requires cooperation and hard work on your part, just like how God required the Israelites to fight battles and move as God commanded them to move in order to get to the promised land. But, little by little, and slowly, He will change your heart.

Just as He taught first the world justice through the law that he gave to Moses, and then mercy through our Lord, he teaches us step-by-step, meeting us where we are and then leading us to something greater. Giving any aspect of your life to God puts Him in the position not of a slave driver cracking a whip, but of a loving father teaching their child a new skill. God will go at His child’s pace, pushing them just a little outside of their comfort zone when they are ready to progress, helping them to grow. And as His children, our role is to trust Him and do what He says.

When we trust in the Lord, when we hand Him the reins, amazing things can happen. God will work wonders through us, if we let Him. Perhaps this fathers day is a call, as cliché as it is, to let go and let God. He will look after our needs, let us be humble enough to let Him provide for us so that we can work for His kingdom in the way He has called each one of us to do.

How have you seen God acting in your life as your Heavenly Father? Has there been a time when you gave your life or a part of your life to God and truly seen His hand at work? I would love to hear those stories!

Until next time, let’s pray for each other. And remember, we can do Mom things through Christ who strengthens us!

Saint of the Month: John the Baptist

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This month’s saint at Mom Things Through Christ is St John the Baptist. This month, we remember and celebrate his birthday. Did you know there are only three people who the Catholic Church honours on their birthday? They are Jesus, Mary, and John the Baptist. While all these people had miraculous conceptions, they were not the only ones who did. The reason we celebrate their birthday is because these three people were the only ones to be born without sin in all of history.

How do we know John the Baptist was born without sin? The Gospel of Luke tells of how the Angel Gabriel came to his father, Zechariah, with a message from God, saying “even from his mother’s womb he will be filled with the Holy Spirit” (Luke 1:15). And if you are filled with the Holy Spirit, there can be no room for sin, since sin separates us from God and the Holy Spirit is God.

But this isn’t something that happened to John the Baptist because he was a special person. He was filled with God’s Spirit because God had important work to do through him, and that was to declare the coming of Jesus and call people to repentance.

How can we fill ourselves and encourage our children to be filled with the Holy Spirit in order to do God’s work? If we want to be filled with His Spirit and do His work, we must stay close to God. We can do this by accessing the sacraments: go to reconciliation and receive Jesus in the Eucharist often. We can also read the word of God and meditate on the lives of saints. We should also keep praying, especially inviting the Holy Spirit into our lives. Most importantly, I think we should be sharing these spiritual activities with our children, or at least not hiding it from them.

In this way, we will be models of people working to empty ourselves of selfishness, of impatience, of fear, of all the things that take up the room we could be giving to God. It is a long and ongoing process, but if we keep at it, one day, we will also be filled with the Holy Spirit.

Talking points

  • When did you last feel like God’s Spirit was with you? What was it like?
  • What are some things taking up space in your heart that you could give to God?
  • When was the last time you asked the Holy Spirit to come into your life? Let’s take a minute now to pray together for the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Until next time, let’s pray for each other. And remember, we can do Mom things through Christ who strengthens us!

Joys of the Week: May 28 – Jun 3

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I missed posting last week! We had a terribly hectic weekend, so I didn’t get time to write about my joys (well, I needed the rest more than I had the inclination to write). But I’m back this week and I’d love to read about your joys too, so leave them in the comments!

On Sunday, we went to church at a different parish, because our parish Mass schedule was changed and we forgot (oops!). But it was a chance to discover a beautiful, new (to us) church, it was visually stunning! And the priest was on fire for his homily! It was truly a blessing in disguise.

I’ve personally been discerning about a return to the workforce (please pray for me!), but changing up what I do for work in a big way! I started to take some practical steps this week to find out how feasible the idea I’ve been feeling called to would be and got some encouraging news. I know more prayer and more research is to be done, but I’m happy to take it slow.

I’ve been crafting a little for kiddo’s birthday, which always brings me joy. It’s a smaller, let’s say a humbler joy, but a joy nonetheless!

Please put your joys in the comments. I love to hear from you! Until next time, let’s pray for each other. And remember, we can do Mom things through Christ who strengthens us!

Monthly Devotion: Sacred Heart of Jesus

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June is the month of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. This is a pretty easy one to talk about to kids, because it pertains to the tender love of our Lord for us. Below is a simple language explanation of the reason for this monthly devotion.

These days, when priests give homilies, we often hear of God’s love and mercy, but this wasn’t always the case. Preachers used to emphasize God’s anger when they spoke to the faithful. But Jesus sent a message of love into the world to change this and that is why we celebrate the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

Sometimes you’ll hear people, both Christian and non-Christian, talk about how God in the Old Testament is violent and angry and how the God in the New Testament is much nicer, but this simply cannot be true. The thing about God is that He is unchanging. He is the same today as He was at the very beginning, and He will be the same every day until the end of time.

If you read the Old Testament carefully, you’ll see how His chosen people turn away from Him, over and over again (and if we are honest about our own hearts, we know there are times when we choose to turn away from God, too). But even though the people keep turning away from God, He keeps giving them more chances and keeps calling them back to Himself. Time and again, God shows them His love and mercy, just like He does for us.

Was God jealous and vengeful? Yes. And He still is. He is jealous because He does not want us to worship any false gods, to lose ourselves to money, power, popularity, or people. Imagine if your best friend one day said to you “you’re not my best friend anymore, I’m going to play with someone else and forget about you”. Wanting them to play with you again is jealousy, and you feel this because you love your friend. We see His vengeance play out when He does not stop the consequences of choosing to make other things gods in our lives. He respects our choice, even though it might hurt him, and allows us to be separated from Him, which leads to spiritual death.

But God was, and is, and will always be loving and merciful too! He offers every single person a loving relationship with Himself, where He will care for us and give us eternal life. He is also willing to forgive all our sins, over and over again.

His mercy is a way to avoid His vengeance, thanks to the perfect sacrifice Jesus made. All we have to do, all we ever had to do, throughout all of history, was to trust in Him.

This month, as we remember the Sacred Heart of Jesus, let us remember that God’s love and mercy are generously being poured out for us forever. All we have to do is turn to Him to receive it.

Until next time, let’s pray for each other. And remember, we can do Mom things through Christ who strengthens us!

June Prayer Intentions

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Alright Moms, it’s time once again to advocate for one another! This post is dedicated to your special intentions for the month of June. Just put your prayer requests into the comments, even as they come up throughout the month, and keep each other in your prayers – that’s all you need to do!

As usual, the pope’s monthly intention is below for us to include in our prayers.

June: for the abolition of torture
We pray that the international community may commit in a concrete way to ensuring the abolition of torture and guarantee support to victims and their families.

Let’s send those prayers up and bring down the blessings!

Until next time, let’s pray for each other. And remember, we can do Mom things through Christ who strengthens us!

Godparent Day

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Next week, on the first Sunday of June, we celebrate Godparents on Godparent Day! Yes, that’s a thing! Your Godparent may be a relative or a family friend or someone else from God’s family, but whoever it is, we should thank God for them on Godparents Day (and every day!), and pray for blessings on their soul, so that they can do the very important work they have been called to do especially for you!

What is the work that Godparents are called to do? Some people think Godparents look after a child if they are orphaned, but that’s not the case. In fact, a Godparent is simply responsible for a child’s faith formation. Just like parents help their children grow in their everyday life, Godparents are there to help guide their Godchild in his or her spiritual life (not just on Sundays!), along with that child’s parents. If someone’s parents don’t teach them about the Catholic faith, it is a Godparent’s duty to step up and do this. And, just like parents protect children and keep them safe as they grow up, Godparents should also protect their godchild’s faith as it matures. Faithful Godparents pray for their Godchildren regularly, which is something you may not see, but I think it’s the most powerful thing they can do for you!

A Godparent should be a practicing Catholic, which means that at the very least, they must: go to Mass every Sunday, observe fasting and abstinence as taught by the Catholic Church, receive the Sacraments of Reconciliation and Eucharist at least once a year (hopefully more), and give what they can to the Church. Essentially, Godparents should provide real-life examples of how Catholics faithfully live out their vocation to holiness.

I am very grateful for my Godmothers, who have been shining examples of the Catholic faith, who have inspired me to pray, and to reflect on the nature of God, and examine my own life in light of the Catholic faith. They never fail to encourage me spiritually, even to this day!

Nobody is perfect, and some Godparents fail in their duty. If this sounds like someone you know, maybe it’s time to reverse the roles and invite them to participate in the life of the Church! After all, we want everyone to share in the glory of God, especially those near and dear to us on Earth. I remember doing this for my own Godfather before he passed away – I hope we will meet again in God’s courts!

Let’s take this opportunity on Godparent Day to pray for our Godparents. I have posted a prayer for Godparents below!

To our beautiful Godparents, thank you for helping raise our children in the Faith! Thank you for praying for them and guiding them to grow closer to God. Your reward will surely be great in Heaven!

A special shout-out to my baby’s Godmother who has already brought so many blessings even though my child hasn’t been around for too long. Thank you, Auntie Liz!

Until next time, let’s pray for each other (and our Godparents!). And remember, we can do Mom things through Christ who strengthens us!

To Such As These: Pentecost

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I write these “To Such As These” posts every now and then to explain some aspect of the Catholic faith to children. I try to use simple language so you can just read it directly to them instead of having to put it into your own words! The category name is inspired by Jesus’ words in Matthew 19:14: “Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs.”

Today, we will be looking at Pentecost and how the disciples were changed by this evet.

If you have any topics you’d like me to cover in this category, pop them in the comments and I’ll add them to the list!

Pentecost is probably one of the biggest (if not the biggest) celebration of the Holy Spirit in the Catholic Church. This Sunday, we will remember what happened at the very first Pentecost, which was 50 days after Jesus rose from the dead on Easter Sunday.

Let’s travel back in time to that first Pentecost. Jesus had gone up into heaven not too long ago. The disciples heard His words about receiving the Holy Spirit. But the disciples had seen how the authorities had unfairly killed Jesus, their leader. And what’s worse, they were known as Jesus’ followers! The disciples thought that if the soldiers found them, they would have the same fate as Jesus. They were afraid, so they all gathered together in a room and hid.

But then, a miracle happened: the Holy Spirit came into the room and into their hearts. Suddenly, they felt the urge to go out and start proclaiming the good news about Jesus! Because of this, thousands of people decided to dedicate their lives to Jesus that very day, and committed to following His teachings, and spreading the good news as well.

What changed? Did the authorities get less scary? Not at all. Did it make it that the events of a few weeks ago had never happened? No way. What changed was the disciples themselves! They became empowered by the Holy Spirit! Were they still scared? Probably. There was still a very real possibility that they would be tortured and killed because of their love for Jesus. But they went out and began to spread the good news everywhere, even though they faced life-threatening risks by doing so. It wasn’t because they were now suddenly fearless, it was because they now had courage. They did what God told them to do, even though they were scared! And it’s true that some of the disciples were locked away by authorities and many were killed because of the work they did for Jesus, but they knew that these consequences meant nothing compared with God’s reward of eternal life. So they were afraid, but they did it anyway.

You, too, received the gift of the Holy Spirit at baptism. If you have been confirmed, you have been sealed with the gift of the Holy Spirit. Everyone who has been baptised is called to do the work of God, even when we are afraid. We aren’t threatened with the same things as the disciples had to face, but we might still have to live through some pretty hard things. Maybe people will laugh at us, maybe they’ll stop being our friends, maybe we won’t get what we want if we do God’s work of doing the right thing, loving Him, and loving others. But we need to remember that we have the Holy Spirit to help us through. Anytime you want a little more courage, simply pray “Come Holy Spirit” (the words in the picture above are Latin for “Come Holy Spirit”) and God the Holy Spirit will pour His graces over you! So be brave, be courageous. Be afraid, but do what Jesus asks you to do, anyway.

Talking points

  • Do you think people can be scared and still be brave? Do you know any stories of people who were like this?
  • When was the last time you did something brave? How did you feel afterwards?
  • Think of a time when you felt God telling you to do the right thing, but it was scary. What did you do? What could you do to act more bravely if it happened again?

Until next time, let’s pray for each other. And remember, we can do Mom things through Christ who strengthens us!

Joys of the week: May 14-20

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Sunday on this blog means it’s time to reflect and give thanks!

So the week started on Mothers’ Day! I had a wonderful brunch with my new family. I would have been happy with a McDonald’s breakfast, but hubby planned something a little more fancy, which I appreciated. And then, at the brunch, he almost made me cry – tears of joy and gratitude! He just expressed how much he appreciated my work as a mother and it was a blessing for my heart to hear. Thank the Lord for good husbands!

Hubby and I spent a day mid-week with our baby, to celebrate one year of being out of my belly! We went to a lighting store (baby loves looking at lights!) and had some traditional birthday food to celebrate. We also stopped by to see baby’s paternal grandparents, who we hadn’t seen since Easter. It was a wonderful day, albeit a little windy! It was just so good to quietly go around and do simple but fun stuff as a family.

I closed the week with a Mom-date, just hanging out with a good friend, her two children (several years older than my baby) and the bub. It was nice to get out of the house and get to know her kids a little more. I think my biggest joy yesterday actually came from her eldest, who (along with the younger sibling) was bullied by one kid at the kids’ entertainment centre we visited, but who chose to hold the door open for the bully and their parent as we left! I had to call out that show of forgiveness and kindness – and thank God for showing this example to me in this 10 year-old.

I have other joys too, good news I have heard from some friends who I have been praying for, good food (as usual), the green of the trees really coming in, now… God is so good, the blessings are endless and His love and mercy abound! Praise the Lord!

What were your joys last week? Hope to see you in the comments!

Until next time, let’s pray for each other. And remember, we can do Mom things through Christ who strengthens us!