Tag: family life

Reflections on Parenting: Holding Space – a Christian act of parenting

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For those familiar with attachment parenting, you will more than likely already be acquainted with holding space. For those that are not, to put it simply, it is the act of being present and providing containment for whatever big feelings your children are feeling as they process them. By being with them, you can create a safe space where they are free to express and explore their feelings – sometimes you are that space.

The expression of emotions can, in itself be cathartic, and the exploration of feelings, often with a parent to be their guide, is what allows a child’s emotional maturity to develop. Both of these aspects are important for children, but they will not fully delve into this experience unless they feel safe to do so. Children feel safe to process their feelings when their feelings are not dismissed or trivialised, when they feel heard and understood, when they are allowed to express their feelings as comes naturally to them, and when they know that after all that, they will still be loved.

When I consider what it means to hold space as a parent, I cannot help but think of our Heavenly Father.

How many times is it written in the Bible, “the Lord was with him”? From Abraham, to Joseph, to David, to Enoch and Hezekiah, we hear that the Lord was with them or that the Lord walked with them. So many of the Psalms were written by David, and just look at all the sentiments he expressed!

This Davidic example is a beautiful blueprint of how a child of God can process their feelings about all of life, no matter what they feel.

Consider too, the book of Job. The Lord is there through Job’s suffering – God never abandons him. This eternal God, the God of love who never changes, is with us, too.

And of course, Jesus himself said it plainly, “…remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). We go through life not alone, but with Him who is the giver of life.

In Him, we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28), and if we are trusting in the Lord as much as we should be, we can be assured that we are safe to express and explore everything we experience, that Jesus understands our human condition, and that we will always be loved, no matter what. Let us cling to the Lord, who is our consolation, and cry out to Him. Our loving Father holds space for us.

Have you felt secure to approach God with your big feelings? How do you become more comfortable to do this? Let’s have a chat in the comments!

Until next time, let’s pray for each other. And remember, we can do Mom things through Christ who strengthens us!

A Prayer for Mothers

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Mother’s day is coming up already – my goodness, time really flies!

Anyway, I’d like to extend an early happy mother’s day to all mothers, grandmothers, godmothers, and spiritual mothers! A dear friend of mine suffered a loss not long ago, so I would also like to share a special thought for all the mothers whose babies went back to God before they got to hold them. Your grief serves to witness to your immense motherly love for those souls. May you feel the presence of the Lord, who watches over your beloved babies and may you be consoled by His love.

Below is a mother’s prayer I wrote, that all mothers can pray. Feel free to share it with all your Mom friends! I hope it helps you in your mothering journey, whatever that may look like.

A M O T H E R ‘ S P R A Y E R

Father in Heaven, I praise You for Your goodness! In Your mercy, You have given me the gift of motherhood.

Lord, I thank You for calling me to share in the lives of these beautiful people who You created, and for all the blessings you bestow upon me through them.

Through my experience as a mother, You reveal Your own loving heart, and Your desire for me to be holy and to have true happiness.

Although it is a vocation that brings great joy, like all Christian life, it comes with crosses to bear. God, grant me the strength to carry the crosses of motherhood with grace, and sanctify me by them.

Holy Spirit, guide me to always grow closer to You, imitating our Lord Jesus. Change my heart to become more and more like Yours, so I can better love my husband, my children, and the whole world.

Holy mother Mary, ask God to help me to follow your example, that I may be a mother who always says yes to God’s will and points others to Jesus. Pray this for me, and all mothers.

Amen.

Until next time, let’s pray for each other. And remember, we can do Mom things through Christ who strengthens us!

Reflections on Parenting: Praying as a Parent

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Real talk: I don’t have all of the answers. That’s above my paygrade (it would be even if anyone were paying me!). But I do have questions. Today, I’ve got questions for you about prayer. But first, a little backstory…

Personally, I do the bulk of my personal prayer just before bed. I’ve never been great at morning prayer, and adding Mom duties to the mix – hubby takes the first morning shift before he goes to work so I can sleep an hour or two – doesn’t give me a lot of time.

I pray with my baby, too. We do morning prayers (most days, I’m working on it), we say grace before meals (I’m so used to silent grace just before I eat, so again, this is something I’m working on), and bedtime prayers. I try to use that time as well, as a moment to connect with God.

In all, I spend probably about 40-60 minutes in prayer each day (I added probably an extra 30-40 minutes during Lent). I don’t spend all my prayer time asking for things and rattling off the classic prayers (although they do take a little space in my prayer time) and I am making time in my prayers to listen, letting God speak to me through the Bible. And I know that most of the time (when I don’t feel like I’m running on autopilot, at least), my heart is totally in my prayers. So, what my prayer consists of what I’m praying for, or how much or how fully I’m praying isn’t in question, at least not this time.

The thing is, I don’t believe I am offering our Lord the best of my time, because by the time my own bedtime rolls around, I’m exhausted and some days I find myself drifting off to sleep during prayer time – even when I’m sitting up! And I do want my time with God to be quality time. Trouble is, I don’t know what time of day those first fruits are.

I spend naptimes getting things done, making bookings and other arrangements, running home admin, various chores, that kind of thing. Most of these need to be done during office hours, so they can’t be moved. Admittedly, I take a little time during the day to blog (let’s call it digital journaling), and while it isn’t strictly prayer time, I consider it to be spiritually-motivated, as it does turn my thoughts to Godly things, I get to grow in my faith as I read and reflect on Church teachings, upper and lower case T traditions, the lives and writings of saints and the doctors of the church, and my own interior life. And I sincerely hope that publishing my own thoughts will also help to bring others to Him – other moms, and their children. Practically speaking, in terms of the technology I use, unfortunately it’s not feasible for me to switch this with my bedtime prayer time. Besides, some prayer – my daily examen immediately springs to mind as an example – must be done at the end of the day.

Then again, I think of St Paul’s words…

As parents we can offer up all of our day to God. Every diaper change, every middle of the night feed, every toy we pick up, every frustration, every mundane moment, as well as prayers of thanksgiving for every smile, the things they do that melt our hearts, and all the other good things that come with being a parent. In this way, we can be a living prayer, uniting our parental sacrifices with Christ and saving souls (perhaps our children’s souls!), offering our lives to God, literally praying without ceasing.

That said, I want to have time to just sit and be with God. I know it’s just a season and that God understands. I get that I have responsibilities that mean I no longer have the luxury of just skipping off to an adoration chapel whenever something is weighing on my heart (ah, youth, less responsibility, and living less than 10 minutes from a 24 hour adoration chapel…). But I still want to do better by Him. I would like to make quality time to pray.

So my question is, how can I make that quality time for God? How do you do it? How does it fit into your day? Looking for some real answers here, hoping you have some tips for me!

Until next time, let’s pray for each other. And remember, we can do Mom things through Christ who strengthens us!