Friends, I won’t lie to you… I spend a fair chunk of time on social media (you may have seen me there)! And I have read some of your stories. There have been enough similar stories that I feel moved to write about it. Those are the stories of disapproval, disdain, and even rejection from family members about how you choose to raise your children, or, for some of you, that you yourselves have decided to come to the Catholic Church from another faith or another denomination (which of course impacts the way you raise your children!). Whether it’s the way you parent, or the things you teach your children, there is cause for friction when they don’t understand why your priorities are the way that they are.
In yesterday’s Mass readings, we heard the beatitudes. This is God’s new law, given to us by Jesus. Unlike the justice of an eye for an eye that was handed down in the Old testament, the new law is a law of humility, of mercy, and love. Through recent events in my own life, I have come to embrace the last beatitude in all its beauty, and I would encourage those of you who are troubled by the unkind words and actions of others (particularly of those close to you) to bear Jesus’ words in mind.
At the very end of the beatitudes, the Lord says, “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:10)
When you live according to Christ, your priorities are different, perhaps unexpected, but righteous in God’s sight. This will anger some people, especially if they do not walk the same road that you walk. Christ takes primacy in your life and every part of your life is ordered as such. People who are of the world just don’t understand why God comes first and why He is the ultimate authority in your life, causing you to live life the way that you do. It’s incomprehensible to them. They will rail against it, finding ways to make your life difficult, calling you names, speaking ill of you to others. It’s one thing to stand up for yourself as we are so often told by the world, but to be humble enough to accept it… that’s the call from Christ.
I am joyful that people speak ill of me, because I am assured that ultimately it doesn’t matter what anyone on Earth says or thinks about me. I know that as a child of God, I wear a crown, I am worthy to share in the Kingship of our Lord because of His immense love for me, and nothing anyone thinks of, says about, or does to me can ever take it away. And that freedom from conforming to other people’s expectations or desires, that’s the Lord at work!
I also know that Jesus is near me in my suffering. As King David wrote, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord rescues them from them all.” (Psalm 34:18-19).
I *love* that this is one of the ways the Lord has chosen to sanctify me, and I rejoice in it! I am humbled by it but take pride in bearing this cross for the glory of God!
When I say I bear the cross for the glory of God, I mean, we can give our suffering to God. Remember that nothing that we give to Him is ever wasted – He will take everything you give Him, whether good or bad, and turn it to something so much better: by uniting your suffering and sorrow with our Lord crucified, we are cooperating with God in the mission of the salvation of souls! This is not a new concept. In fact, it has always been this way. As it is written in the scriptures, “Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good, in order to preserve a numerous people, as he is doing today.” (Genesis 50:20), and also, “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
Praise Him for setting us free from fulfilling human expectations – we may fulfil some of them, but we are called to fulfil greater than these!
Praise Him for setting us free from the judgment of man – it is the Lord alone who is the supreme judge, and it is only His ruling over our lives that merits consideration.
Praise Him for setting us free from the effect of their punitive behaviour towards us – we bear the cross of scorn and spite joyfully, because the Lord is close to those who suffer, and we can give our struggles to God, to increase His glory and save more souls.
Praise Him for His kindness and faithfulness. Our Heavenly Father will never abandon us. Know that despite every hardship and trial, you are immensely loved, and highly valued, and you belong to the Lord!
If you are having trouble receiving this means of sanctification, perhaps the Litany of Humility is for you. It is a prayer that I was praying as this was all happening in my life, so I can’t help but feel blessed that God answers our prayers! It’s part of why I am grateful for this experience, even though it is hard. Here is the Litany of Humility (responses in bold):
O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved…
From the desire of being extolled…
From the desire of being honoured…
From the desire of being praised…
From the desire of being preferred to others…
From the desire of being consulted…
From the desire of being approved…
From the fear of being humiliated…
From the fear of being despised…
From the fear of suffering rebukes…
From the fear of being calumniated…
From the fear of being forgotten…
From the fear of being ridiculed…
From the fear of being wronged…
From the fear of being suspected…
That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I…
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease…
That others may be chosen and I set aside…
That others may be praised and I unnoticed…
That others may be preferred to me in everything…
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…
Maybe you’ve accepted this cross. Wonderful! But what about the human aspect? Should we simply forget these people? One thing we know is that we are commanded to forgive. Every time we pray the Our Father, we are asking God to forgive us as we forgive those who have sinned against us. If we are not willing to forgive, then how can we ask God to forgive us?
But what does forgiveness look like when it comes to unhealthy relationships? While we can use the pain that some people cause us to bring about good, we sometimes need to distance ourselves from people who do not engage in relationships in a healthy way, in order to love ourselves well. We were not created to suffer needlessly – God can use suffering for good, but we shouldn’t be seeking it out like gluttons for punishment.
Setting boundaries or distancing ourselves from certain people doesn’t mean that we simply leave them by the wayside. We have a duty to continue to love these people with the love of God, although this is something we can definitely do at a distance. We do this by praying for them. Let us fervently hope that we will be reconciled to each other and to God on the last day. Until then, we bear the burden and we wish them well.
How have you dealt with past hurts? What would you do differently if it happened today? What are some ways you can increase in humility? What helps you to pray for those who have wronged you? Let me know your thoughts!
Until next time, let’s pray for each other. And remember, we can do Mom things through Christ who strengthens us!
Mom Things Through Christ 