Today is World Productivity Day. You know, so much of this world is measured in productivity: objectives, output, KPIs… We fill our schedules to the brim, sometimes to the point that we have things we just cannot do. How often, when asked how you are, has your response been “busy”? Look, there is nothing inherently wrong with being productive. Achieving goals is a good thing! But we mustn’t fall into the glorification of endless productivity.
Take a note from Jesus Himself, who, despite knowing He would not be on Earth long, still took time away from His ministry:
But now more than ever the word about Jesus spread abroad; many crowds would gather to hear him and to be cured of their diseases. But he would withdraw to deserted places and pray.
Luke 5:15-16
Christ also calls His apostles to rest right before the feeding of the five thousand:
He said to them, “Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.
Mark 6:31
Goodness, “no leisure even to eat”… how often do those words ring true in motherhood?!
From these two instances, we can see that Jesus valued rest and taking care of needs, and also that spending time in prayer was an important part of His own ministry. We must also acknowledge that our Lord didn’t withdraw or call His apostles away to simply laze about, but to have time to pray, and address basic needs, such as eating (though I don’t think they had much time to actually do this!).
As mothers (some of us working mothers), there are many demands on our time. We havemany things to do and our own “crowds” clamouring for our time and energy. It is not uncommon to hear about burn-out as a result of detrimental self-sacrifice. Jesus shows us by His example that we cannot spend all our time in service.
I’m not advocating for frequent, extended periods away from our family, or neglect our responsibilities to binge-watch The Chosen (I don’t think my heart or my tear ducts could take that, anyway!). We need to be disciplined in our practice of self-care lest it turn to a practice of me-first selfishness. Let us remember though, that we are both spiritual and corporal beings, and we have to look after both parts of our humanity – after all, it was given to us by God, and what’s more, we were made in His image and likeness. We should honour God’s work by taking care of it.
Self-care is a buzzword that gets thrown around a lot, but it’s not just feel-good activities (although these are not necessarily excluded). Ok, so it’s not frequently indulging in spa days and manicures or sitting around playing candy smashing games on your phone… so what is it?
As a mom, if you pay attention to milestones, you’ll see they are usually grouped into different domains. In my opinion, we do not really outgrow these domains; they remain a part of us. Self-care should address several of these domains, namely the physical, emotional, cognitive, social, and spiritual. Self-care, when practiced well, can ensure that your life as a whole is in balance. I’ll add some suggestions below just to prompt your thinking, but please keep in mind that you don’t have to do all of them, and you don’t even have to pick up one from each domain. Just doing a little – even just one thing – and knowing that you’re making a little headway in the self-care department. It’s about filling your own cup so that you have some to give to others.
When we talk about the physical domain, we could talk about rest! Moms are notorious for not getting enough rest. How is sleep? If you’re one of those people who has difficulty falling asleep when you have one of those rare moments to yourself, perhaps you could use your quiet time simply to rest – phone down, lay down, eyes closed. Perhaps you need to exercise more (guilty!). Or maybe you need to make sure you’re getting those five serves of vegetables every day – could a multivitamin help? Are you getting enough water? I like to have a water bottle with a straw in the car and take a sip at every red light (I only remember about half the time, but it helps to up my water intake!).
Emotional self-care can look like processing your day through keeping a journal, or maybe consider committing to sharing your joys of the week on the weekly blog posts here! You might choose to engage in a creative outlet – you could create some art, or write a poem, or even just sing along to a song or a hymn that expresses something you felt during the day. Do you have the time and funds to seek therapy? Alternatively, you could see if your workplace offers an Employee Assistance Program, which usually has a number of free counselling sessions. You could engage in a hobby or simply lean into the mom thing and find an opportunity to be fully present and spend quality time with family – they do bring us so much joy!
Cognitive self-care keeps our minds healthy and flexible. An obvious avenue is reading, (hey, what are you doing right now?!); writing, even just in a journal, is also a way to get those brain waves going. If you have the time, you could learn a new skill. Another suggestion is to take in new information through podcasts – perhaps from school drop-off or on the way to the pick-up!
Socially, it’s important to connect with others and maintain those social bonds. This could take the form of a phone call to family or friends, date night with hubby, or family outings with family friends. Anything that gets you interacting with other humans! This could also take the form of volunteer work (you can see if your local St Vincent de Paul Society has any programs to connect with isolated individuals in the community) – heck, maybe even your paying job allows you to do this!
As Catholics, spiritual self-care is probably the most important domain for us to exercise. It is what is written about in the Gospels every time they talk about Jesus going away to pray, from fasting in the desert, throughout His ministry, and to the agony in the garden of Gethsemane. It is, essentially, what we do to nourish our souls and grow in our faith. Perhaps the most important thing we can do in this domain is to receive Christ in the Eucharist. It is, after all, the source and summit of our faith! Other ideas include attending retreats, going to adoration, meditating on our Lord’s life (hello, holy rosary!), learning through Bible study, joining fellowship groups, reading about the lives of Saints… the list goes on!
When you’re a busy (productive?) mom, a nifty trick is to use one self-care act to cover multiple domains; you can feed two birds with one scone! You could listen to a spiritual podcast while you get some exercise in – that hits your physical, cognitive, and spiritual self-care all at once! And the best thing about self-care is that it will give you a renewed sense of vitality and you will be able to better serve those around you!
What are some ways you practice self-care? What are your busy mom cheats to cover more areas of self-care with fewer activities? And probably most pressingly, how do you manage to set aside time for rest?! Let’s share our tips and tricks in the comments!
Until next time, let’s pray for each other. And remember, we can do Mom things through Christ who strengthens us!
Mom Things Through Christ 