This post just squeezed in for a brief time to commemorate this day, just as our second child did, last year.
It was a chemical pregnancy. Such a dehumanising term. I prefer to call it an early loss. That baby was conceived, lived, was wanted, and was loved… and lost.
As part of the grieving process, we named our child. Milo: God is merciful.
We chose that name because we entrusted that child to God’s endless mercy. It is really all you can do as a Christian experiencing a loss like that. There are no real answers, not even any real support – something I have on my heart to change, but I’m still waiting on the Lord to show me how. But I digress. We entrusted Milo to God’s mercy.
And then, we let ourselves be loved. Our friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, prayed for us, consoled us, held us, gifted us things that they felt would help us get through the too often unspoken grief, including a book about Blessed Chiara Corbella Petrillo, titled, Chiara Corbella Petrillo: a witness to joy
And it is the words she and her husband left on their first child’s coffin, who died 30 minutes after being born, that I would like to share with you on this day.
We were content to hold you in our arms, for even half an hour we were fine. We were not able to stop looking at your nose, the same as mine, and those little hand and those little feet. We did not have much time to tell you too many things; that we love you, we know that you know it, but perhaps you do not know that you were born for eternity and that I am not your father, nor she is your mother. Think of that! The one who desired you is also our Father. I know it is a little complicated, but soon you will understand: Life is marvelous, for this also we sought you. It does not matter how much time we spend together; to us matters what you shall be. Here each thing does not matter really; we can make do with less of everything. What is necessary is to know the Father; it is to prepare ourselves for this encounter. And you were born ready, I do not know how to tell you how proud we are of you. We accompanied you as far as we were able. Now you shall know the father, Maria Gracia Letizia, Joy of our life
We accompany our children as far as we are able, each one of us. And we entrust them to the mercy of our loving God.
Milo, and all those who went to their heavenly home early, pray for us!
Blessed Chiara Corbella Petrillo, pray for us!
Have you been touched by pregnancy or infant loss? Do you know someone who has (chances are, you do!)? Please, share whatever you’d like to, perhaps a name, or some way you choose to remember them on this day.
Until next time, let’s pray for each other. And remember, we can do Mom things through Christ who strengthens us!
